Speak with a Divorce and Family Law Attorney.  If you are considering separating from your spouse, it is imperative that you meet with a family law attorney first.  In North Carolina, many legal rights (and obligations) accompany the decision to separate and divorce.  The big picture issues that arise when you separate from your spouse in North Carolina include dealing with your marital assets and debts, spousal support, custody of your children and child support.

Take Actions to Protect Your Separate and Marital Assets.  In terms of personal property (silverware, dishes, televisions, sofas, etc.) you should take all items of separate property (property you brought to the marriage) and a reasonable amount of the marital property.  Photograph any property that you are not taking with you.

Gather Financial Information.  Gathering financial information before you separate can be critical.  The attorney handling your separation and divorce will likely need the following (although your individual case may require additional documents – another reason to schedule a meeting with a divorce lawyer):

• Tax Returns – for the past three years;
• Pay Stubs – for the last three months;
• Current Mortgage Statements;
• Bank Statements – any checking, savings, money market, mutuals fund account for the last twelve months;
• Retirement Statements – any retirement account statements (example: 401(k) or pensions) for the past twelve months;
• Other Investment Accounts – statements for any certificates of deposit, stocks, bonds, etc.; and
• Credit Card Statements – for the past twelve months;

Get Your Own Bank Account.  You should open your own bank account and start having any direct deposits made into that account.  If you have a joint savings account, you may want to consider withdrawing some of those funds before you leave.

Put Aside Some Money.  If you are a dependent spouse or have children, you may not be able to get into court immediately to get spousal and/or child support.  It may take three to four months to get temporary spousal and/or child support.  In the meantime, you need to be able to pay your bills.

Divorce costs in North Carolina are difficult to quote.  There are many variables in determining the ultimate legal costs of divorce in North Carolina.  If your case is a simple, uncontested divorce (no property, alimony, child custody or child support issues), then your costs can be relatively low – under $1,000.  If you do have some or all of those issues, but can resolve them in a negotiated separation agreement, then your costs could be between $1,000 and $10,000 – Over 90 percent of our firm’s cases settle and fall within this fee amount.  If you cannot resolve those issues through negotiation, then the costs could easily exceed $15,000.

There are basically two types of fee arrangements in divorce and family law matters: (1) flat-fee services; and (2) time-billed services.  A flat-fee is a one time charge intended to cover the all of the legal fees associated with a particular service.  The other fee arrangement, and the one most frequently employed by divorce lawyers, is the time-billing or hourly-billing.  Under this arrangement, your divorce attorney will keep track of the time he/she spends on your case (usually billed in six minute increments) and bills you for that time.  Our family law attorney offers both flat-fee services and time-billing.

One way our divorce and family law attorney helps clients reduce the costs of divorce is by offering low-cost flat-fee services.  We typically offer two flat-fee services: (1) flat-fee uncontested divorce; and (2) flat-fee separation agreements.  Our family law attorney often quotes a flat-fee for drafting and processing qualified domestic relations orders and child custody/support consent orders.

Most of our firm’s fees are billed hourly.  Most family law firms require a “retainer” or advance deposit to cover their fees.  The family law attorney then bills the client (typically in six-minute increments) for all the work the attorney does for the client – these include: emails/phone calls with the client or opposing counsel, drafting documents, reviewing documents, preparing for and attending hearings, etc.  If you hire a divorce attorney on an hourly basis, here are a few ways to keep your divorce fees to a minimum:

• Be organized with documents.  If you have been asked to provide your divorce attorney with documents, ask him/her how many copies they need.  Often divorce lawyers will need two to three copies of each document.  Some clients like to save their time and/or money by scanning documents to send their attorney.  Unfortunately, frequently that means that someone in the attorney’s office will need to print those items and organize them for the attorney.  Most divorce lawyer’s paralegals bill for the time needed to print and organize documents.  The best way for the divorce client to save money is for he/she to print out the appropriate number of documents and organize and label them before you take them to your attorney.
• Be mindful of time when you communicate with your divorce lawyer.  You are encouraged to be in contact with your lawyer, however, there are some ways to keep his/her fees as low as possible.  Generally speaking, emails are the most efficient way to communicate with our divorce attorney.  Ongoing, back and forth emails, however, are the most inefficient and costly ways to communicate with your divorce lawyer.  Try to batch your email questions.  If you find yourself in a back and forth email conversation, ask your attorney if he/she thinks a phone call might be more appropriate.  Whether you are communicating with your attorney via email, over the phone or in-person, think through all the questions you want to answered.
• Be reasonable in your expectations.  Ultimately you and your spouse control a large part of the legal fees in a divorce.  If either spouse is unreasonable in their expectations, then the process will take longer and may require court hearings – that in turn costs more in legal fees.

North Carolina is one of a few states that continues to recognize the marital torts of alienation of affections and criminal conversation. Despite multiple judicial and legislative attempts to abolish these causes of action, they remain viable.

In August of 2009, the Governor signed new legislation making significant changes to alienation of affections and criminal conversation actions in North Carolina. The statute provides three (3) major changes or clarifications: (1) Employers cannot be sued for the actions of their employees (i.e., if your spouse commits adultery with a coworker while on a company business trip, you cannot sue the company); (2) The statue of limitations begins to run from the commission of the act and not from the time that the plaintiff spouse learns of the act; and (3) Acts after the date of separation do not give rise to claims for criminal conversation (prior to the new legislation, a defendant could be liable for criminal conversation for sexual acts occurring after the date of separation).

Alienation of Affections

In an alienation of affections action, the plaintiff alleges that the defendant committed wrongful acts which deprived plaintiff of the love and affection of his or her spouse.

What must be proven in an alienation of affections case?

1.Marriage between the plaintiff and his or her spouse and a genuine love and affection existing between them;
2.Then love and affection was alienated and destroyed;
3.The wrongful and malicious acts of the defendant caused the loss of love and alienation of affection; and
4.As a result of the alienation, the plaintiff suffered mental and emotional anguish and other suffering, loss of income or support and loss of consortium.

Criminal Conversation

In a criminal conversation action, the plaintiff alleges that the defendant merely had sex with the plaintiff’s husband or wife.

What must be proven in a criminal conversation case?

1.Valid marriage between the plaintiff and his or her spouse;
2.Sexual intercourse or adultery between the defendant and plaintiff’s spouse; and
3.As a result of the criminal conversation, the plaintiff suffered mental and/or emotional harm, loss of income or support and loss of consortium.